the stages of college cancellation
so. college got cancelled for the rest of the semester, and I had one wack emotional reaction to it. i'll describe the stages below. to anyone else who spiralled rather ungracefully, you're not alone.
tbh it didn't really hit me. I saw the email right before I went to bed, and then just slept as normal.
duration: 8 hours
2. WHATTHE HECK
i freaked OUT the next morning. Tears. Crying. Sobs. Heaving chest sobs. Snotty nose dribbles. the whole thing. I was mourning the loss of the semester—the late night chats, the happy hours, the afternoons lounging in a hammock, the concerts, the runs on the river trail by campus, hearing exciting speakers, meeting new people, the independence. i feared being stuck in my house for months on end. i panicked about my internship being cancelled (ie me being home from March to August). i dreaded having my parents looking over my shoulder at every little thing I did. I dreaded my brother bothering me for months on end. I was scared my relationship would come to an end. It felt like my world was crashing down around me, even though I'm objectively fine and didn't have any concerns about legit things, like food or housing or employment.
duration: 4 days
3. oh sh*t there's stuff I gotta take care of
figuring out my storage sent me into a panic. what am i gonna do w all my stuff? after bouncing between plans and cancelling on people and burdening my angelic roommate w packing my stuff, i decided to... leave it all in my room
duration: 4 days (lots of overlap with stage 2)
4. first "breakup" ?
things kinda sorta ended w the significant other? I cried for a day then put myself together and carried on w life
duration: 1 day
5. the routine + joy
this comes from a place of hella privilege bc i have food and housing and people i love around me (my family). I figured out a routine that keeps me happy—it involves long bike rides, good music and podcasts, long facetimes with friends, watching tv and movies with the fam, reading books, and getting tasks done so that I feel productive. I reached out to lots of alums in my area to look for jobs, and am enjoying sleeping 9 hours a night. I'm figuring out how to cope with classes. I'm getting outside. It's a good time. I'm processing the news about the world crashing and burning with
duration: hopefully until we're all safe from the virus!!!